Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
