highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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