No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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