One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize