good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
