why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
