no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
