i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
