perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
NoShamevember. You game?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
