woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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