You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think your dad took our porno
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
