im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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