On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
