So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
