he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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