I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
bring money and cleavage
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize