i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
