Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
