And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
