New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
