Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just pee around me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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