therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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