Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
