peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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