i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
