he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
