**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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