i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize