I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
