If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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