Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
