My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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