I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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