I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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