She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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