dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I will pee on everything he values.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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