I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
