Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
