wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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