how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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