One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
