even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
