Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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