Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
