the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
