Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
