bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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