You can't motorboat a personality
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
