When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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