is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
