ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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