I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
