Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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