Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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