she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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