I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
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