How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
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