the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
