he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
