just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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