Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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