i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
