My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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