Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
